Stop wearing underwear.
That’s what Rebecca Apsan suggests in her new book, right under the chapter called “Introduction.” Now what, I ask, is the point of going commando in a $15.95 paperback called “Lessons in Lingerie: Finding Your Perfect Shade of Seduction”? Doubling down on the entendre, this sassy little Workman Press volume edged in pink lace has the most bodacious black lingerie ensemble on the front cover that I have ever seen. I want that, and I want it now!
What the author means, you will quickly divine from flipping pages, is exactly the opposite. Stop wearing underwear — and start wearing lingerie. What’s the difference? Girlfriends, get ready to romp. I interviewed Rebecca on the phone the other day, and I’ve got to say, she is the sassy sorority sister I never had; the naughty auntie everyone needs. She talks a lot about “the tease” in her book, so I got right into the mood with my first question: “What are you wearing?”
That caught her off guard — mission accomplished! But when she got the drift of the fun, she played along — putting me in my place by describing a brand I never heard of. She’s wearing a Marlies Dekkers bra with “embellishments”and by that she means a bra with lots of sexy straps that costs more than some of my dresses for work. When I called the brand up on the web page, I quickly saw the difference between lingerie and underwear. There was a $69 thong on that page! No lie. And those bras — goooor-juuuuuss!
Lusty guys are not the only ones who succumb to the lure of lovely lingerie. Me, too. My parents used to tell the story of my very short potty-training lesson. They bought me a pretty pair of silky pink panties with rows of ruffles all across the bum. If I used the potty, diapers out, dainties in.
I locked in on those fancy pants and faster than you can say “coochie coochie coo,” there was no way I was going back to any nasty white diapers. What the folks didn’t know was that in one day, they had created a monster. I thought I should have pretty panties to match every outfit — not just color, but pattern and fabric, too. Fortunately, the family was blessed with good seamstresses, so in short order, I had custom ensembles throughout my toddlerhood.
I was so proud of these great panties that they had to break me of showing them to strangers at every opportunity. “Lookie! Lookie!” I’m sure all the nice Newman Methodist Church ladies in Grants Pass, Oregon, were surprised when I became a news journalist, surely expecting me to pen scores of steamy novels.
I wish! Seems that with the popularity of the bajillion-selling “50 Shades of Grey,” women are inspired — dressing to undress in the boudoir like never before.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Rebecca told me. “There is a change in the way women think.” Masks, corsets, latex, lace, ticklers are flying out of her New York store, La Petite Coquette, like you wouldn’t believe. Rebecca says she cannot keep “designer harnesses” in the shop and even the hardware stores are seeing sales trends to women that she traces back to that whippersnapper Christian Grey. Note to self: Google designer harnesses.
Some of those accessories cannot happen soon enough for me. What a stroke of luck — just as I start to worry about those fine lines around the eyes, the lace mask is in style! Yeah, baby. Bring it on!
When it comes to basic advice about what to wear “under there,” she says the most important thing for a bra is the fit — straps must stay in place, headlights centered, no back bulge. And unless you are buying the same brand and same model each time, you should be fitted. Sorry, there is no standard sizing for bras. *What?!* I know. That’s what I said. Who wants to strip off every time she’s shopping for undies? But that is the deal.
Rebecca says celebrities and their stylists love her New York store. But their purchases might surprise you. Most go for traditional styles in white, nude and black. If you are imagining all sorts of wildness happening under those red-carpet dresses just forget it. Shapewear, shapewear, very traditional. It’s all about the cameras. Rebecca says the stars’ first priority is to look “completely sucked in” and make sure the “bottom line” has no lines — anywhere!
Rebecca’s sexy little web site is www.thelittleflirt.com. The book is available at most Barnes & Noble stores and online.
Gail Marshall is a producer at AM 940 KYNO, former assistant Opinion Page editor at The Fresno Bee and a previous TFM Woman of the Week . Mom to a million exchange students, Gail lives life to the fullest in Fresno with her adoring husband Rich.