• Lindsay Lohan was arrested in NYC last night after she allegedly hit a pedestrian with her Porsche and then left the scene. Lindsay claims she didn’t know she hit someone, it isn’t her fault, Jesus had taken the wheel, it’s just not fair, yada yada yada same same same. [TMZ]
• Surveillance footage shows that the alleged victim might be a big, fat alleged liar. [TMZ]
• In other trainwreck news, Amanda Bynes’ parents think it might be time to move to California to watch over their daughter. [TMZ]
• Here’s a photo of a baby sloth that will purge our minds of all Lohan-Bynes a**hattery so we can move on:
• Congrats to Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who is now engaged to boyfriend Justin Mikita. [People]
• Ferguson also started a new charity benefiting gay rights organization, so congrats 2x. [E! Online]
• Beyonce and Jay-Z threw a fundraiser for their pal, President Barack Obama, that raised $4 million. [NYT]
• Kristin Stewart and Vampy McSparklepants may have reunited. We won’t know for sure until we see photographic proof of them, say, making out in Central Park. [E! Online]
• Here’s a photo of Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher making out in Central Park. [People]
• Former reality star person Kristin Cavallari had a baby. This is what it looks like (hint: like a goofy old man). [People]
• Jennifer Lopez
‘s nanny took her twins to the aquarium, which was actually pretty nice of her. Sending the pictures to People? Not as nice. [People]
• Fred Willard attended a lewd conduct course that he says was “like traffic school” but, I’d imagine, with 47% more penis references. [TMZ]
• Some guy is suing Dennis Quaid because Quaid was nice enough to let him ride his horse on the actor’s land. The horse reared up when it was spooked by a sprinkler, which tells me the land is probably green and pretty which is probably why that guy wanted to ride there in the first place, all of which is Quaid’s fault, of course. [TMZ]
• Nelly Furtado owns a cute coat. [Just Jared]
• Malcolm in the Middle reunion! [Instagram]
• Blind item: “For the past few years, you have heard a lot about this Actor’s relationship with his Public Girlfriend. She is the actress, the famous one, the one who made them a star couple. But did you know that he has had a Private Girlfriend all along?
She is an actress/singer/whatever (although you have likely never heard of her). They originally met a few years ago when she was living overseas. They dated for about a year, but he broke up with her after he became more famous and started dating more famous actresses (like Public Girlfriend).
Private G was devastated, but she managed to remain friends with The Actor. That paid off for her. Every time he wanted to see her – even when he was living with Public G – he would fly her to wherever he happened to be – New York, London, LA – and they would simply pick up where they left off. She made it easy for him. Instead of criticizing him for being with another women, she would just bite her tongue and welcome him back with open arms.
She made it so easy, in fact, that since the famous couple’s recent breakup, the two have been practically inseparable. In fact, The Actor and Private G are living together right now. Very quietly and very privately, of course.
Will he reconcile with Public G? Well, both he and Public G know that they both are more marketable as a couple than they are as just a couple of actors. Insiders think that their reconciliation is inevitable… and that Private G will be sent back to wait in the shadows once more.” [Blind Gossip]
• Blind item: “Which well-respected actor of stage and screen is starting to show signs of emotionally unraveling on the set of his critically acclaimed cable show? The nearly 60-year-old star raised eyebrows when he suddenly and mysteriously dropped out of a hit network show a few years back!” [National Enquirer via Blind Gossip]
• Blind item: “This 60-something stage and film star was caught in a hotel room wearing a dress and makeup! The Oscar winner, who married a popular ’80s teen actress, attracted attention after guests called about a loud commotion in one of the rooms. When security and hotel management arrived, the actor shocked everyone by opening the door in full drag. He claimed he was doing research for an acting role, but no one bought it. Who is Mr. Dress-up?” [National Enquirer via Blind Gossip]