• Amanda Bynes, who was arrested in April for D.U.I., was charged yesterday and she did what any sane, not-guilty person would do: she tweeted President Obama and demanded the cop who arrested her be fired. She Tweeted Barack Obama and asked that the cop who arrested her for D.U.I. be fired. Bynes claims that she does not drink. I believe her. Amanda Bynes probably does not drink. Please check back with us next week when the big gossip story is, “Amanda Bynes was shot five times after being found eating a homeless dude’s face.” [People]
• Following Scout Willis’s arrest Monday for public drinking and presenting a cop with a fake I.D., Willis’s attorney issued the best defense ever: ”Seriously, you were underage once … who wasn’t looking to get into a bar?” Good point. GUILTY. [People]
• Congratulations to Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend Liam (“the other brother”) Hemsworth, who are officially enfianced. I wish them a lifetime of happiness, and, as a gift, am choosing to not believe this blind item is totally about them. [People]
• Ray Bradbury, author of Fahrenheit 451, has died. Condolences to his family, friends and fans. [HuffPo]
• Debra Messing is divorcing her husband of nine years because she’s in love with a gay guy probably. (Seriously, Will and Grace was a hilarious show. Karen Walker FTW!) [E! Online]
• Whitney Houston’s mother is writing a book about her, because of course she is. [CDaN]
• Michelle Rodriguez, soon to be seen in The Fast and the Furious 6, recently found out she’s the product of inbreeding, and also is 72% European. Guess which piece of information disappointed her more? (That’s inbreeding for you, I guess.) [Bossip]
• The always-classy Jenny McCarthy took to Howard Stern’s show yesterday to complain about former boyfriend Jim Carrey. Specifically, McCarthy accuses Carrey of refusing to see her son, Evan, who is not Carrey’s child, but who was in Carrey’s life for five years. McCarthy hasn’t actually asked Carrey herself to see Evan, but has gone “through channels,” which seems as effective as complaining on a radio show. [Us Weekly]
• And Jim Carrey has answered back. Kinda. [TMZ]
• Kim Cattrall surprised a Columbia University acting class when she showed up to practice for her upcoming role as Cleopatra in a European production of Shakespeare’s “Antony and Cleopatra.” I guess when you play a sex-starved PR expert on a TV show for six years, you’re too much of a professional to register and pay for college classes, but not professional enough to know how to act? [NY Post]
• John Mayer, who had to go on a self-imposed media hiatus after getting flack for vomiting out personal details about former girlfriends Jennifer Aniston and Jessica “sexual napalm” Simpson, has cried to Rolling Stone about rumored fling Taylor Swift, who wrote a song a couple of years ago called “Dear John.” Swift has never said the song is about Mayer, but he’s taken it upon himself to whine and cry about how humiliated he felt when the song came out. He thinks he didn’t deserve it, and I say, we don’t deserve John Mayer. Please feel free to go away again, sir. [Rolling Stone]
• Two of John Travolta’s former employees are claiming that the actor and his pilot, Doug Gotterba, carried on a six-year relationship in the 1980s. One of the employees, who was Travolta’s secretary (ironic) for 16 years, says she knew Travolta is gay, but that “it didn’t bother” her, which is, I’m sure, a relief to Travolta. [Radar]
• This is what Kelly Clarkson looks like as a blonde. [People]
Via People
• And this is what Alicia Keys looks like in a bikini. [People]
• Blind item: “This Grammy-winning musician gets such a kick out of impersonating a certain A-list star that he actually poses for photos with the actor’s fans AND signs his autograph! The sleazy singer likes to be a bigger jerk than usual when people mistake him for “Mr. Movie Star” – and even undertips on restaurant and bar bills in the hope that the media will pick up the story!” [CDaN]
• Blind item: “This actress was a solid B lister and for a time even considered an A lister. She had her own movie once or twice even though they were small. That is not how she is best known though. At her peak she made her living be[ing] the co-star and like many actresses she fell for her co-stars frequently and to her peril. There was never a time when she got involved with her co-stars that she was not used and thrown aside when the men were finished with her. Her most famous co-star is probably, reluctantly an A lister. He used to have sex with her in the morning and then go out and have sex with other people in the afternoon. There was one time she said that she is pretty sure he called while having sex with another woman, but she always took him back until he found someone more famous and he didn’t want to come back. Another co-star who is more celebrity than actor she fell for didn’t even pretend to have any feelings for our actress. He would put her down in front of her friends and would send her to the bedroom and tell her to wait while he hung out with his friends and he would go in and have sex and then just come right back out. If he was finished with her for the night he would send her home. She always came back though. Another co-star who actually did treat her right gave up because our actress lost interest to another B list actor who would yell at her and make her cry and she just could not get enough.” [CDaN]
Maybe Amanda Bynes is just a really bad, partially blind driver.