I know so many mommas that are pregnant with their second child, I really think that there should be a What to Expect book, but for a second child. There are a few secrets that us moms should know and prepare for. Until then, I’m going to go ahead and share some. I’m no expert, but a book of a few of these would have been nice.
When you bring your newborn home, your first born looks like an adult. Okay, not an adult, but if they are a toddler, they will look like a kindergartner. No joke. They will no longer look or feel like your baby. They will look like a little person who grew up overnight. I’m sorry but it’s true. The good news is your first born is still your baby, and will still cuddle with you. But now it’s more like spooning.
You will lose your temper in those first few days weeks of being a new mom of two. And when you do, you will cry (postpartum hormones!) a lot. Then you will feel guilty, and most likely make up with your first born with things like Dr. Pepper and Oreos. Then you will move on, because this will happen again.
You will stop sweating the small stuff. Anything and everything that will make your life easier is what you are going to be doing. For example, with my first born, we hand-washed bottles. Until she was like a year. We thought it was the best, most sanitary way. With my second, those bad boys went in the dishwasher from day one. Toaster waffles are just as good as homemade. Dry shampoo, hats, scarves, or pretty headbands, make you look awesome. Sometimes already-cut-up fruit is worth the price. You are way too busy to sweat the small stuff.
You will want your old body back. No, not your body prior to baby number one. The body you finally got used to before you got pregnant again. The one that you finally bought a new wardrobe for. That body that you finally convinced yourself was acceptable. Yeah, you are going to want that body back ASAP. Just thought you should know.
You will have a favorite child — don’t worry you will alternate. This is really a quote from my BFF Krysten. She actually did warn me of this. Some days it will be your newborn because they aren’t talking back or throwing a fit over which shoes to wear. Some days it will be your first born, because they are old enough to get their juice cup off the counter, or eat goldfish while you change diapers. You will love your newborn for their quiet cuddles, and sometimes your first born for their ability to watch Dora for an uninterrupted 30 minutes while you cat nap. Don’t worry, because you will alternate. Some days by the hour.
Your second child has to walk it off. I swear those bumps, bruises, and falls will not draw the same reaction. You won’t shriek or gasp when they are falling or hitting their head. You also don’t get as worried about the first cold or stuffed nose. You’ve got mommy instinct. And the second will walk it off.
Your kids have the same DNA, but that means zilch. Seriously, they are going to be so different it’s scary. Everything you thought you knew about motherhood will change. Baby number two may not like the same swing, Moby Wrap, or bottles. Baby number two just might sleep through the night or not at all. I don’t mean to alarm, but you need to know. Just be prepared for a tiny little person, with their own personality, who may look like his brother, but acts nothing like him.
You will no longer feel the pressure of friends and family. This was HUGE for me, personally. You just grew and birthed another human. Your first is still alive, so you must know something. You don’t need that doula, expert swaddling technique, or homemade baby food cookbook. You’ve got this.
The things you want to do over, you will. Did you wish you weaned your first sooner? Do you want to sleep train? Do you want to have them watch less TV? You can do all of these things and more. My goal with my second was to enjoy motherhood more. I did, and I do.
You realize life will never be the same — and you couldn’t care less. I have two kiddos, and I can’t imagine a life without them. I’m not going to lie, it’s tough some days, but the rewards? Priceless. Sometimes challenges are frustrating, and you are exhausted, and it seems the light at the tunnel is dim. Then one of your littles needs a cuddle, or a kiss, and you know you would never change a single thing.
This is just the tip of the iceberg really. I’m sure I’ve missed a bunch of “what to expects”. Have a few of your own? Don’t be afraid to leave them in the comments. You might be helping a momma out!
Megan Crutchfield blogs at AbsoluteMommy and is a-stay-at-home momma in Fresno, California, just trying to make some sense of motherhood. She loves to blog, make some very simple crafts, and like many of you out there, PIN. In February, she wrote an article for The Full Moxie titled “{P}inspiration: Spring Fashion.”
[featured image: Raising Twins]
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Really enjoyed this article. Thanks for posting!