I hate long finger nails. Every two weeks, I trim my nails down to a length that lets me clack away comfortably on the computer keyboard all day, but that also lets me scrape and pick at things. Like my skin.
See, while I’d never, ever bite my nails (gross), I have for years had a problem with chewing the skin around my nails, sometimes to the point of bleeding. Which is also gross, I know. Believe me, I know.
I’ve been doing this since I was a kid. I can’t remember a time when I’ve had two completely intact thumbs — they’ve always been in some stage of skinlessness. To me, this is normal. When I see perfect-looking hands with perfect-looking skin modeling hand lotion or engagement rings, I think, That looks so weird.
Having chewed-up fingers should be embarrassing, but it’s something I’ve gotten so used to, I rarely care anymore if others notice it, even when the skin is red and raw with dried blood caked on it. In fact, this chewing of skin (and eating, I might add. Yes, I am a self-cannibal) is so normal to me, it took 35 years before I finally started to wonder why I do it, and if I should, you know, stop.
So I turned to my family doctor, Dr. Internet, and Googled “biting skin.” Up popped a couple of options: Onychofagia is the name of the condition for those who compulsively bite their nails. That definitely is not me. Dermatillomania is a bit closer — it’s when you can’t stop picking at your skin, usually on the face, but also on other body parts as well. However, dermatophagia, a type of obsessive-compulsive order in which sufferers bite the skin around their nails, seems to be the winner.
According to a site called Right Diagnosis, the symptoms of dermatophagia include discolored skin, skin damage, bleeding skin, callouses, hangnails and compulsive skin biting. Here’s what my thumb usually looks like:
Again, I’m not a doctor, and I’m well aware Dr. Internet isn’t the most reliable source for medical information, but dermatophagia seems about right.
So why do I do it? Am I nervous? Stressed out? Anxious? Bored? Hungry? Probably all of those things. Maybe I just can’t stand seeing the skin grow back unevenly, so I have to pick at it until it’s smoothed over (by the way, it’s never smoothed over).
When I’m chewing on my skin, I feel calm. I may start out anxious, but that goes away. And the skin heals pretty quickly, actually. I just give it a day or two while I work on a different finger.
There are ways to combat dermatophagia. Actually, just one way, as far as I can tell, and that’s coating the nails in a foul-tasting deterrent. I’m not sure that would work for me, though. I’ve had nail polisher remover on my nails and skin, and even that did little to dissuade me from chewing.
I guess what I’m saying is, although it’s not ideal, it’s a bad habit I can live with. I don’t know much about obsessive-compulsive disorders (and I’d rather not delve into the underlying causes of my anxiety, thanks), but if this is the worst it’s going to get for me, I can definitely handle this dermatophagia thing. Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll magically stop, and Neutrogena will ask me to model their amazing hand cream.
Thanks to the knowledge of this article, I can now say both of my step daughters have onychofagia and I guess dermatophagia. It’s totally compulsive and it absolutely skeeves me out. I don’t understand it at all — hands are so freaking filthy — but I kind of do more now, after reading this. I wish I knew how to help them stop because it looks so, so painful.
Like all medical conditions, there are different levels of severity to dermatophagia, and clearly mine is mild. My skin bleeds from time to time, but that’s not usually the case. I’ve seen photos where the fingers are so badly chewed, it looks like they went through a meat processor.
Dermatophagia seems to be a physical manifestation of whatever’s happening internally. I don’t really want to open a can of worms by examining why I do this, because it’s really not that terrible for me to deal with and the chewing actually seems to calm me down, but maybe your stepdaughters are braver than I am.
Oh, and the germ thing — I’m pretty grossed out by dirty hands, too. I regularly wash mine and worry about others washing theirs, but the compulsion to chew my skin is stronger than my aversion to germs.
so… you like chewing flesh… how do you feel about brains?
my official diagnosis?
if it’s just flesh you are the gnarl (http://buffy.wikia.com/wiki/Same_Time,_Same_Place)
if it’s brains too… zombie
Dude, that part where the gnarl eats Willow’s stomach is the WORST thing ever put in a Buffy episode. EVER. I can never watch it.
I love that you took a picture of your thumb!
Interesting read! I never knew these things actually had names. You’ve peaked my curiousity though… I have a habit of chewing/biting the skin off the inside of my mouth. I’ve done it since I was a small child, and while to do notice I do it even more often when I’m stressed, I do it pretty much all the time. My mouth is almost never without some chewed places. It doesn’t really even hurt, it’s more like a good stretch… it may hurt a bit but it’s a good hurt, ya know? I can’t find a name for this, but apparently it is an OCD thing that tends to go allow with anxiety, lol… I already knew I had those though, so I suppose it doesn’t surprise me.
I’ve started chewing on my lips recently, too. I wonder if that’s considered dermatillomania?
I think the hands and the mouth are anxiety manifestations and probably related somehow. I mean, I have been pretty open about my anxiety disorder diagnosis (meds are seriously the best), and though I don’t chew on anything while awake, I grind my teeth like nobody’s business in my sleep and it is soooooo relaxing. I have literally cracked like 4 teeth, dude. But while I’m doing it (in both deep and light sleep– I now have a night guard), I am soooo at peace and happy. I think I’m chewing ice. *sigh*
We humans are so weird. I swear my dog doesn’t have these issues.
I used to do this all of the time until I started having my nails done. I do not know what one has to do with the other, but my cuticles used to be torn to shreads!! Ever since I started getting acryllic nails, I just don’t do it anymore.
I try to resist doing it when I have my nails painted, but it doesn’t last long. The first chip, I get, I go right back to chewing.
So I’ve been reading up on this… I too suffer from some sort of skin biting compulsion and out of all of the stories yours has clicked the most with me. I am 23 turning 24 tomorrow and have been biting my skin around my nails for as long as I can remember too. Although when I was younger I would chew on my clothes and find that when I’m not skin biting I am chewing on something… Not sure if the two are related… I have not found any sort of cure that works… I don’t want to go into crazy therapy for this embarrassing but tolerable thing… I just wanted to post and let you know you are not alone in this. I am currently in art school pursuing anatomical drawings as my focus which always leads me to this compulsion and surfing the web to see if anyone has new answers. I have not cutting history or any other severe psychosis but I have been diagnosed with ADD
I guess what I’m saying is the best way to not do it is to try and stay present as often during the day as possible and recognize when you are biting… I usually get yelled at by someone to stop… It may not be the easiest solution, as I said I too struggle with the compulsive and offputting habbit
I also find that it’s a mindless thing… I start picking at my fingers which turns to biting some days it’s less often and others it can be the focus of my day… it’s any kind of shame that is usually the deterent for me…
I hope you find your way to deal and best of luck to any other sufferers!