Breast intentions: Hey, did you hear? The new iPad is naked on the cover of Elle magazine! No wait, that’s pregnant Jessica Simpson, whose publicist should know better than to schedule stunts like this when every nerd’s eyes are glued to the Apple web site. [Jezebel]
Senior moment: 66-year old Debbie Harry was mistaken by paparazzi for 25-year old Lindsay Lohan which is, of course, an insult to Debbie Harry. Lohan should be so lucky. [E! Online]
Eh, the sex is probably fake, too: The worst part about the impending release of a Hulk Hogan sex tape? That’s it’s not of him and the Ultimate Warrior. [TMZ]
Yesterday’s news: Snooki: I’m pregnant! Universe: Yes, we know and have already begun sacrificing the goats in preparation for the end of days. [US Weekly]
Butter? I hardly know her! (sorry for that): Paula Deen and her brother Bubba … You know what? I’m just going to let that sit there for a minute. Bubba. BUBBA.
Anyway, Paula Deen and her brother BUBBA are being sued for sexual harassment by a former employee of their restaurant, Uncle Bubba’s Seafood and Oyster House (Bubba Gump’s was already taken, natch). Lisa Jackson accuses Bubba Hiers of harassment and says that Paula, who uses racist epithets (surprise?), was informed of the incidents but did nothing to stop them. [People]
Blind item: “This former A list tweener has had two abortions in the past year. Hopefully it does not add to her personal demons.” My guess: Demi Lovato.
Blind item 2: “Which B list always movie actress was introduced to coke by her sisters who are also famous. Their favorite game was watching their not even teen sister get high on coke. That turned into an addiction which turned into a nose job. A not very good one, but her acting career has not suffered.” My guess: Elizabeth Olsen (younger sister to Mary-Kate and Ashley). [Crazy Days and Nights]
Blind item 3: “What A-list actress, who’s currently going through legal battles with her partner, has actually asked friends to make untruthful and damaging claims about her ex? Apparently she wants him out of the picture so she can move out of the country.” My guess: Halle Berry. [Crazy Days and Nights]